For Theodar, Heavy Metal Bird Man of Damage Prevention

Let’s discuss keywords and abilities, and keyword abilities, and more. Yay!

A keyword ability is a word or phrase that substitutes for a piece of rules text. Keywords are often summarized in reminder text (words that explain what a keyword does, italicized and in parentheses on the card, like this). Examples of keyword abilities include flying, trample, scry, prowess, first strike, and protection. Some keyword abilities are what they call evergreen, which means we will see them in pretty much every set. There will be a creature with flying in every set, for example. Some keywords are only seen on occasion or in particular sets, like heroic or ninjutsu, and some will likely never be seen printed on a Standard legal card ever again, like storm (because it’s too good) or champion (because it’s too bad) or banding (because it’s too confusing).

Keyword abilities are different from keyword actions, though they are related insofar as they both represent a longer segment of rules text. A keyword action, as the word “action” implies, is a verb that describes a particular game action, like when players attach an aura, equip an equipment to a creature, sacrifice a permanent, tap a land, or counter a spell. Certain keyword actions get mistaken for keyword abilities, such as fight and regenerate.

Then we have ability words, which are distinct from both keyword abilities and keyword actions, though ability words also share the quality of representing a longer segment of rules text.

From the Comprehensive Rules [Magic Origins (July 17, 2015)]:

207.2c An ability word appears in italics at the beginning of some abilities. Ability words are similar to keywords in that they tie together cards that have similar functionality, but they have no special rules meaning and no individual entries in the Comprehensive Rules. The ability words are battalion, bloodrush, channel, chroma, constellation, domain, fateful hour, ferocious, formidable, grandeur, hellbent, heroic, imprint, inspired, join forces, kinship, landfall, lieutenant, metalcraft, morbid, parley, radiance, raid, spell mastery, strive, sweep, tempting offer, threshold, and will of the council.

Ability words are short for “when you have/do X or when X happens, get a prize.” Take landfall for example: when a land enters the battlefield under your control, something happens. Each card with landfall explains what happens when you meet the condition of having a land enter the battlefield under your control. Lotus Cobra adds a mana to your mana pool. Grazing Gladeheart lets you gain two life.

Now that we’re past the educational portion of this article, let’s move on to the silly part. WotC has, over the years, created new keywords and taken existing abilities and made keywords for them. The most recent example of this is menace, which is what we now call the ability a creature has that “can’t be blocked except by two or more creatures.” Given that they’ve had to do their best to be creative with these keywords, along the way I’ve found cards with names that one might think would suggest that the card has a particular keyword or a creature type, but doesn’t. This list is only for amusement, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I were the only one amused by it. Anyway, here’s the list…

Delver of Secrets doesn’t have delve.
Skeletal Scrying doesn’ t have scry (though it almost has delve).
Bloodthirsty Ogre doesn’t have bloodthirst.
Exalted Angel doesn’t have exalted.
Undying Beast doesn’t have undying.
Shrouded Serpent doesn’t have shroud.
Oona’s Prowler doesn’t have prowl (though it’s in the block that gave us prowl).
No creatures with the word “Defender” in their name have defender.
Root-Kin Ally is not an ally.
Elvish Mystic is not a mystic.
Graveborn Muse is not a graveborn.
And Hellbent Raider has neither hellbent nor raid.

Then there’s this card:

Indestructible Aura is one of my favorite cards. It neither has nor gives indestructible, and it’s not an aura. That’s amusing in itself, but what makes this card absolutely astounding is the art by Mark Poole. Here we see what I can only assume is an epic, heavy metal bird man who is both casting a spell and posing for the cover of his debut album. Based on the flavor text, I assume this bird man is Theodar. Appropriately, this card was printed in Legends. I mean, come on. He catches swords with his bard hands!

So this blog entry is dedicated to the most legendary of legends: Theodar, Heavy Metal Bird Man of Damage Prevention. May you forever rock.